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Facebook Phone Fails, Other Social Media Phones Abandoned
Menlo Park, CA: After the recent devaluation of the HTC First, commonly known as “The Facebook Phone,” to 99¢, other popular social media sites are shutting down their own plans to release phones...
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TIME Magazine Demands 20-Somethings “Get Off (Their) Lawn”
New York, NY: Upon noticing an increasing number of young people on or near the designated lawn area of Time magazine’s offices, the staff issued a statement declaring that all millennials on the...
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Gun Nuts Attempt to Ruin 3D Printers for Everyone
Austin, TX: As common knowledge of 3D printer capabilities continues to grow, a bunch of dicks from Texas decided that the best way to let people know more about them was to ruin them for everyone. 3D...
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Summer Brings More Positive Outlooks, Time Spent Outdoors, Horrible Spiders
Chicago, IL: As the summer solstice approaches and temperatures rise to more comfortable levels, people are finally emerging outdoors after a long winter. Parks are filled with happy couples enjoying...
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Beauty Pageants Changing Question Portion In Wake of Recent Gaffe
New York, NY: After the airing of the most recent Miss USA pageant, in which hopeful Miss Utah flubbed a question on equal pay for women in the workforce, pageant organizers are beginning...
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Zimmerman Defense Lawyer Follows Up Knock-Knock Joke With Stand-up Set
Sanford, FL: As the high profile trial of George Zimmerman in the murder of Trayvon Martin reconvened on Monday, Zimmerman’s defense lawyer Don West followed up the knock-knock joke used in his opening...
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People Now Wondering Where They Can Go Without Shit Exploding
New York, NY: Following the latest tragedy of the Boeing 777 plane crash in San Francisco, concerned Americans are now wondering if there is anywhere they can go without shit exploding. “It...
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Facebook Phone Fails, Other Social Media Phones Abandoned
Menlo Park, CA: After the recent devaluation of the HTC First, commonly known as “The Facebook Phone,” to 99¢, other popular social media sites are shutting down their own plans to release phones...
View ArticleClik here to view.
TIME Magazine Demands 20-Somethings “Get Off (Their) Lawn”
New York, NY: Upon noticing an increasing number of young people on or near the designated lawn area of Time magazine’s offices, the staff issued a statement declaring that all millennials on the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Gun Nuts Attempt to Ruin 3D Printers for Everyone
Austin, TX: As common knowledge of 3D printer capabilities continues to grow, a bunch of dicks from Texas decided that the best way to let people know more about them was to ruin them for everyone. 3D...
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NYC Mayoral Race Heats Up As Weiner Faces Opposition From Carlos Danger
New York, NY: The race for New York City’s next mayor became even more confusing interesting on Thursday as disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner now faces opposition from a new entry...
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Pope Francis Progressive in Catholic Church by Saying the Word Gay
New York, NY: The newly elected Pope Francis continued a recent string of high profile, unexpected statements on divisive issues for the Catholic Church recently by saying “Who am I to judge?” in...
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Man Claims There is Nothing to Do, Entire Earth Exists Around Him
Chicago, IL: On a recent day off from work, Chicago resident Dale Woodruff claimed that there was “nothing to do” despite an entire Earth full of endless possibilities existing right around...
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First Carnivorous Mammal Species Discovered in 35 Years, Public Demands...
Washington, DC: Upon the recent discovery of another carnivorous mammal species in the cloud forests of Ecuador and Columbia, considerable public demand for adorable YouTube videos of the animal, the...
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Students Rally Against Progress
New York, NY: After more evidence surfaced for an additional element, students across the nation have banded together to protest the possible change to the periodic table, under the banner that they,...
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Pop Stars Film Takes You Behind the Scenes of Unrealistically Fake Moments
London, UK: This past weekend marked the release of pop group One Direction’s 3D concert film, This Is Us, in what may be the longest, most expensive commercial for the talent search show, The X...
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NSA Pleads with Public to Stop Joking About Them in Private Conversations and...
Washington, DC: Amid the ongoing controversy over the NSA’s domestic spying program, the government organization has asked all of those engaging in conversations that might be slightly weird or...
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Nation’s Hysterics Bravely Reporting Dangers of Fukushima Run-off
Some believe The West Coast of the US has already been fully irradiated and have extra limbs, which happen to be invisible. Some do not know the difference between run-off and fallout. /Sott.net San...
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Proprietors of Kobuk Valley National Park Unaware of Any Changes
Fairbanks, AK: One day after the U.S. government shut down operations, the proprietors and caretakers of Kobuk Valley National Park, one of the least visited national parks in the United States,...
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Robots Revealed that Cannot be Pushed Over, have Cupholders
Washington, D.C.: Early this week, US Robotics company Boston Dynamics unveiled its latest project, Atlas, a bipedal robot that can traverse rough terrain and will maintain its balance on one leg,...
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