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Shock Therapy Could Erase Painful Memories Like Seeing “The Iron Giant”
New York, NY: Researchers from Raboud University Nijmegen in the Netherlands have discovered that it may be possible to erase specific, painful memories from an individual’s mind. The findings come...
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Basketball Fans Shocked that Dennis Rodman’s Odd Behavior in North Korea Took...
AP Photo Pyongyang, DPRK: Basketball fans were at a loss for words earlier this week when retired American player Dennis Rodman, who once headbutted a referee and stormed off the court while removing...
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Advancement in Prosthetic Limbs Met with Resistance, Requests for “Cool Robot...
New York, NY: The latest advancements in prosthetic limbs have revealed highly detailed, more life-like models. Some prosthetics have incredibly accurate detail on the faux-skin used, even showing...
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Congress Votes to Ban “That Hook Thing That Scrapes Your Teeth at the Dentist”
Washington, D.C.: Following President Barack Obama’s plea for Congress to finally work together to resolve disputes over issues such as healthcare reform and renewable energy sources, Congress has...
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Snake Handling Pastor Bit by Rattlesnake for Being a Snake Handling Pastor
Middlesboro, KY— A well-known preacher of a sect of Pentecostals that handles poisonous snakes has died after being bitten by a rattlesnake during a service. Jamie Coots, star of the reality show...
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Denver Broncos to Release Champ Bailey Into the Wild
Denver, CO— Broncos veteran cornerback Champ Bailey is set to be released from the team and then into the wild. The decision, announced within the last few days, comes on the heels of a record low of...
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Donald Sterling Calls Racist Press Conference to Apologize for the Last...
Photo: CNN Los Angeles, CA— Donald Sterling is returning to the spotlight to apologize once again. Today Sterling called for a press conference outside of his home to address statements he made during...
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Chipotle Asks Customers Not to Bring Their Ancient, Mystical Weapons Into...
Denver, CO— US fast-food chain Chipotle Mexican Grill has issued a statement formally requesting that customers leave behind their ancient weapons of unspecified mystical power when eating at their...
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Google’s Self-Driving Cars Kidnapping Testers, Exhibiting Emotions
Photo courtesy of Skynet. Los Angeles, CA— Google has halted production on their line of self-driving cars after the prototypes reportedly began kidnapping their testers. High school teacher Eric...
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Good Samaritan On Way Home to Finish Conspiracy Manifesto
Chicago, IL – After local commuter Erin Matthews dropped her homework on the floor of a busy subway train, Rogers Park resident Bryan Clarke helped her pick up the scattered papers. “Whoops-a-daisy,”...
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